What are you willing to sacrifice to get there?


We are weird animals, aren’t we? Well, I am, at least.

And I am in the way I can follow one specific rule easily when it’s supposed to be hard, and barely when it’s supposed to be easy. And that rule is: You need to learn to let go if you want to get anywhere. Okay, what in all that is bright does that mean?

Some time ago I was reading about habits of successful people. Or maybe it was a lecture by some professor. Or maybe it was a podcast. It doesn’t matter, they’re all nazis in 2022, but the point still stands. Resources are limited, you can’t say yes to everything. Your time is limited. Your focus is limited. Your brainpower is limited. Your body is limited. Your feelings are limited. The same way you can’t be everywhere, you can’t love everybody, and you can’t be everything. Where am I going with this?

You can’t be successful without focusing on a small number of things. You can’t be a surgeon if you’re also trying to be a fantastic guitarist if both of them require 8+ hours of practice every day, because you will have other things to do and you, including sleeping. You can’t be a successful entrepreneur, a loving husband, a caring father and the first man to fly to mars. Not at the same time, at least. Most people can barely get good at one thing in their lives, let alone 2 or more. So why do you think you can pick up 5 different hobbies at the same time and still manage to be good at your job and have a social life? Eventually, you have to let go.

Learning to let go can be extended to relationships as well. Knowing when it’s time to cut your losses and say goodbye to a lover, a friend, a family member. Aware that relationships has done its course and won’t ever again be good. Where do you go from there?

I was talking not so long ago to a male friend who, after a terrible break-up at the end of a 9-year long relationship, is now having a renaissance of sort with the sex life of a hot college student. He’s enjoying it, in his mid-30s. I sometimes think it would be nice to do the same, as I have done in the past (very arrogant of me to think I could be that popular, isn’t it?), but I don’t have the time for it. Hell, I keep getting on and off dating apps because as much as I would like to have fun and find a partner, I also know that nothing moves unless I make it move. And boy, is there a lot to move in my life!

So, you need to learn to say no. Be it a promiscuous life, a job you don’t like, a hobby, learning to say no to yourself is one of the most useful skills ever. Humans are generalist creatures able to be amazing at everything as a collective, but as individual we rarely excel at anything, let alone at many things. You don’t find many golf players who are also famous journalists and your average politician is normally not the star of a cooking show, so why would you try to be good at everything? Finally, my point.

I find it easy to be disciplined. Hop on a diet with no cheat meals? Done. Wake up at the same time every day, including weekends? Sure. Keep studying to achieve something? Done. Never miss a day at the gym? You bet it.

And yet I can’t stop procrastinating sometimes. Like finishing writing this goddamn post. Like opening a tab saying I’ll ready it later, and suddenly there are 25 of them open. Like having my head thinking about how much I want to write/play/singing and not doing it because I have created a monster shaped as a blob where work/tv shows/twitter and more fuse together. That is what I find the hardest to do. And that is what I want to focus on moving forward.

It’s okay, I don’t hate myself for that. I just want to the best I can.